Hi, I'm Madeline

New to the Forum or to Seahorse? Introduce yourself here.
Forum rules
Always maintain decorum in the forum! Use temperate, respectful language and please avoid put-downs or abusive comments.
MadelineC
Dame
Dame
Posts: 1
Joined: December 18th, 2016, 9:52 pm

Hi, I'm Madeline

Postby MadelineC » January 15th, 2017, 12:19 am

Hey all, I'm Madeline. You can call me Maddie or Mads.

I've been floating around here for a couple of weeks and finally thought I should introduce myself. I'm a 50 year old CD who has had enough of hiding. I've had similar experiences to many of you, starting to dress when I was 14 and on and off over the years. Slowly becoming more sophisticated in the level I take things to. That journey has had all the usual ups and downs of anger, denial, depression, anxiety, self loathing etc. I think that over the 10 years I have slowly come to a point where I now accept who I am. But now that I have got to this point I have no idea where the journey will take me. I just feel that I will be happier in myself, whatever that journey is.

Over the years I have had very mixed experiences when coming out. Back when I was in my early 20's I came out to my father, brother and sister in law. That really didn't go well. I didn't see them after that for many years. When we did start to spend time together (especially when my dad was getting old) it was never spoken about. Everyone just pretended that nothing had been said. While it meant that we spent some time together it slowly hollowed me out.

Then there was the relationship I shared with a SO for nearly 10 years. At first the dressing wasn't even a consideration but it was only a matter of time before I started buying and hiding my own stash. The SO never found out but I am certain that the secrecy undermined our whole relationship which eventually disintegrated.

However, things are getting better for me. This year I moved to Canberra, only a few hours down the road from Sydney where my niece lives. This year was her turn to host Christmas. I have wanted to come out to her for some time but haven't found the right moment. Now while I had no intention of risking a major incident on Christmas day I found that after a very long day with far to much red wine I was blurting out confessions to her in the early hours of the next morning. This time things were very different to my previous experiences. My niece was great, accepting, caring and comforting. She had a friend who transitioned a number of years ago so all of revelations were taken in her stride. I was almost surprised how much of a non event it was. She has offered to assist with makeup and shopping and anything else I might need. It helps me feel like the time is right to let Maddie free.
Kate
Granduchess
Granduchess
Posts: 96
Joined: September 23rd, 2015, 6:42 pm

Re: Hi, I'm Madeline

Postby Kate » January 16th, 2017, 10:23 am

Thanks for introducing yourself Madeline.

I'm glad things went well with your niece. And yes, partners are less likely to be upset about CD'ing as they are about hiding, try and keep it honest if you can is usually the best approach.

Hope you have a good year.

Cheers

Kate
User avatar
Christine Parker
Forum Administrator
Forum Administrator
Posts: 374
Joined: September 18th, 2015, 1:36 pm
Location: Lake Macquarie
Contact:

Re: Hi, I'm Madeline

Postby Christine Parker » January 18th, 2017, 9:43 am

Thanks for sharing your story. Great to hear about the acceptance and support of your niece. Even having just one family member on-side is a geat thing.
Christine Parker
Seahorse Webmistress and Forum Administrator.
http://www.seahorsesoc.org/christine.html

Return to “Introductions Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest