Here are some answers to basic questions about cross-dressing.
This has been written for those wanting to find out more about
what may appear to be a puzzling phenomenon.
Wives, partners and family members will find this useful to help them
make some sense of and correct any misconceptions about cross-dressing.
"Crossdresser", "transvestite" or "transgender person" are terms used to describe a person who regularly takes on the appearance of the opposite sex in order to satisfy a deep personal need.
We use and prefer the term "crossdresser" as it is less limiting and coloured by common usage.
Above all, however, a crossdresser is a real person.
What causes a person born physically male to need to dress and behave as a female (and vice-versa) in order to have peace of mind?
There is no present definitive answer. The currently favored medical opinion is that cross-dressing has multiple causes. This means that there appears to be a possible genetic predisposition and a possible prenatal hormonal basis for a person's gender identity - the mental perception an individual has about his or her gender - which, though subject to social influences, is independent of a person's physical sexual identity. Most Crossdressers are trying to satisfy a compulsion to visit the "other gender" dimension of the personality. The source of this compulsion resides deep within the psyche and is part of the total personality.
It is currently estimated that about one out of every hundred people born have a personal gender identity which does not comfortably correspond with that person's physical sex.
Cross-dressing is simply the outward expression by such a person of this essential gender identity, and cross-dressing is thus no less real or compelling for this person than the expression by the average male and female of their masculinity and femininity.
There is no cure for cross-dressing for the simple reason that being a crossdresser is not an illness but a state of being. Crossdressers are "born and not made".
Throughout recorded history, and in every human culture, there have always been crossdressers . We simply seem to have been included in the "Great Plan" of things. In many societies crossdressers have been accepted for the reality they represent and their uniqueness has been utilised by such societies for the common good. It is a culture's attitude to cross-dressing that determines whether cross-dressing is or is not a "problem" to that culture.
Crossdressers come from all walks of life and every strata of society. Spouses, parents, children and friends are cross-dressers. People from all walks of life, from the unemployed and pensioners, right through to professional people. There are no distinctions.
There is nothing in the act of cross-dressing that offends any law in mainland Australia or in most of the world. Most major religions do not consider the act of cross-dressing immoral. Whilst the Old Testament, in Deuteronomy 22:5, forbids cross-dressing (including women wearing men's clothes), it also forbids the wearing of clothes of mixed fibres and many other strange rules, such as when it is OK to beat your slaves. The New Testament specifies that Christians are not bound by the laws of the Old Testament.... Thank God!
A person's sexual preference or sexuality is independent of their gender identity. Human sexual diversity exists amongst crossdressers in the same basic proportions as it does in the general community. In fact, as crossdressers are part of the general community, such that the "average" crossdresser is likely to be heterosexual, to have married and to have children.
Most Crossdressers discover their need to crossdress during childhood. They have no idea why they feel the way they do, yet quickly find that the expression of this part of their nature results in reprimand and alienation from parents, family and friends - the people they love and value the most. This can result in the development of unreasonable feelings of unhealthy personal shame.
So most Crossdresser become secretive about their Cross-dressing and, doing their best to deny and suppress this essential part of their being, attempt to fulfil themselves as human beings in all other ways they can. Being a Crossdresser does not "go away" any more than the essential self can ever go away. Efforts to give it up are futile. The "just say no" approach does not work. The compulsion becomes even stronger over time. Crossdressers relish the 'artistry' in transforming their physical appearance to match that demanded by the compulsion. It involves nearly all the senses, especially for male Crossdressers as the feminine persona has so many aspects. This makes the emotional experience very powerful. t is like self-portraiture but now, the Crossdresser is the canvas. Sustained denial of the expression of this essential self can result in severe emotional disturbance.
Shame, fear and loneliness find expression in thought with such questions as - "Would mt best friends, workmates, family, father/mother, wife/partner and my children still want me and love me if they KNEW this part of ME or would they reject me with scorn or fear?"
Many Crossdressers ultimately find it impossible and intolerable to exist like this. They feel compelled to learn about themselve and to "open up" to themselves and to the significant others in their lives. The anonymity of telephone crisis lines os often found to be attractive. Although rejection sometimes occurs, most often Crossdressers are surprised at the level of acceptance they receive, which so often reflects the level of their own self-acceptance. They liberate themselves from the burden of secrecy to enjoy the exhilaration of the expression of this essential part of their being through Cross-dressing. It IS possible to be a complete and happy person AND a Crossdresser!
Be open minded. Be prepared to learn some sensible realities about Cross-dressing.
Above all, know and remind yourself that being a Crossdresser will not change the child, partner, parent or friend you know, and maybe love, into someone different. After all the only real difference is that now you know!
Continue to see the individual person concerned and allow yourself the gifts of an open heart and open mind!
The Seahorse Society of N.S.W. Inc. is a non-profit self-help organisation established in 1971.
The Society's purpose is to provide mutual support for Crossdresser, their partners and families.
The Society achieves this by:
Above all, Crossdressers are offered a way "out-of-the-closet" to self acceptance and self-respect by being able to meet, question and share experiences with others who, as chance would have it are Crossdressers.
The Society's motto is "Cross-dressing with Dignity". Through promoting self-respect amongst Crossdressers and their families and a better understanding of Cross-dressing throughout the community, the Society strives to achieve just that.
Public Cross-dressing FAQ
Joining Seahorse FAQ
Partners' Page